As the title says - its a hot girl with an ibanez guitar...

... would look hotter if it were a Fender Jag-Stang!!

This is a bit of an experimental post - just to check out this cool online mp3 player - Im going to start an actual real and proper blog soon, so I'm just checking out some features I'd like to add to it.

This being one of them - get yours @ mixpod.com

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

I've got a 1980 Volvo
I get in, start it up and I go
It's not a vintage Cadillac
But it always gets me there and back


And it'll always be good to me
Always be good to me
Always be good to me
Always be good to me

I've got a beat up Silvertone amp
I plug it in and it sounds like a champ
It's not a Fender Tweed Deluxe
It only cost me a couple o' bucks

But it'll always sound good to me
Always sound good to me
Always sound good to me
Always sound good to me
Always sound good to me

I've got a girlfriend, she's so true
And no other kind of girl will do
'Cause I've known lots of girls in the past
And I knew none of their love would last

But this one will always be true to me
Always be true to me
Always be true to me
Always be true to me
Always be good to me
Always be good to me
Always be good to me

Always be good to me
Good to me
True to me
True to me



I don't need anything fancy, I don't need a man to be rich, I don't need to drive a hotted up car.
All I need are things in life that are ... Good to me do loo doo loodoo lodo

(Ive had the spazzy guitar riff stuck in my head for days!!)

"Your Ex-Lover Is Dead"

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Point Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...

Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars

Love Buzz has always been special to me. It symbolizes a dream I once had and now a new memory someone special created for me.

Love Buzz - NIRVANA's first single - a limited vinyl release of 1000 copies by sub pop records in 1988, the b-side was Big Cheese. It was the first single in Sub Pop's Single of the Month club. One day I intend to own a copy! (then my name can be on this list)   It later appeared on Bleach and the 'Blew' ep.

Bleach - NIRVANA's first album - back in the pre Dave Grohl days. It's muddy and more metallic. The lyrics more slurred and simplistic (most written a day or less in advance - & ever evolving when they played live), it cost $606.17 and took about 5 hours to record. To me Bleach is the definition and epitome of grunge.

I love this song, even if it's not an original song (it's a cover of shocking blue's 1969 single) - and the bass line ... OMG ...music has always been what keeps my soul alive ... But this bass line just ... Inexplicable ... It does amazing things to my mind, body and soul ... My own personal audio nirvana!



It was the first song I ever wanted to learn. That low dirty tone of the bass line mixed with the plastic pop style lyrics. I wanted to start a band just to play that song - I didn't let the fact I couldn't play any instrument other than a flute rain on my parade!! lol. It never happened.

Instead I just held the dream within my head, hoping one day to see it played. Later the dream evolved. One day all facets of this dream like fantasy will hopefully come true ...


When Kurt Cobain died I don't think I had seen him actually moving - I had a million photos and had seen music video's, but had never seen him speak, move or perform live. So In late '94 when Live! Tonight! Sold Out!!. was released on video I had to have it. I remember exactly where I watched it and the people who were there. Love Buzz was the highlight.


Kurt Stage dives into the mosh and belts this biker lookin security type guy in the head with his guitar, biker dude hits back. Pounding Kurt. Cue Dave ... He comes bursting out from behind the drum kit to help pull Kurt from both the mosh and the biker dude. Dave is the perfect knight in shining armor. (side note: my knight in shining armor just happens to look like Dave Grohl!!) And of course the live versions are far better as Dave by far out drums Chad Channing - and everyone else who's ever hit the skins - with the exception of Jon Bonham of course!!!!


Recently I happened to divulge my secret Love Buzz dream/fantasy to the Rock Star whilst chatting via msn (with video and audio). After watching the live clip, he gets up grabs a bass from another room and starts tuning it.


I had to hold my hand over my mouth to cover my shock and awe. Guitars, especially bass guitars have an aphrodisiac effect upon me.


Right when I thought it could get no better he says to me - ' I think they use drop D tuning' - don't ask me what the fuck drop D tuning is (he did explain, but I can't re-explain it) I think my heart skipped a beat. He knew NIRVANA used drop D tuning... In hindsight - of course he knew this - he is the Rock Star derr! I first met him when he was in a band!



None the less as he proceeded to play the bass line, all 5 notes, over and over again... I thought my heart would stop or fall out, or even both. It was ... Fucking AWESOME!!I was in heaven.


Now if he teaches me those 5 notes... well I don't think I should publicly say what I'd do lol.


There's so many reasons that I will never forget the Rock Star - but him taking the time and the effort to play that for me... Let's just say I hope one day to be able to reciprocate the favor. It is one of the nicest, sweetest and thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me.






I love NIRVANA and I LOVE Vinyl - thus I love 'In search of Love Buzz... NIRVANA collection' - a blog about collecting NIRVANA vinyl!!


And for more cool NIRVANA rarities and full discography check out Digital NIRVANA or Live NIRVANA for all the live goodies!!

Dead Memories.

Memories of Death.

Lost in my head.

My head is now lost.

Sitting in the dark.

Dark is sitting inside me.

We were never alive,
And we won't be born again.
But I'll never survive
With Dead Memories in my heart.

So when I got away,
I only kept my scars.
The Other Me Is Gone.
Now I don't know where I belong

Dead Memories - Slipknot - Warner Music 2008

I have always thought that some of the best times of my life were as a teenager - Fuck!! How wrong was I!!!

I also had a pretty great year when I was 21 and single, surrounded by friends and family, standing on my own two feet and supporting myself and my son without any help from a man. Granted I crashed and burned in a big way, but I was happy (well kinda miserable - but felt pretty good about myself)

I've just turned 31 - and guess what??? I'm pretty fucking happy.

X did nothing to destroy this birthday - he didnt get me a present, but not destroying it was a pretty good present.

ACDC absolutely rocked, experience of a fucking lifetime. Most of my close friends and family went to see them on their Black Ice tour, and because some of them missed out, got stuck in seats or trampled in the mega mosh I feel kind of bad sharing the fact that I got a last minute invite to go see them on Saturday night.

And not just any invite - a laminate style invite, the kind hundreds of thousands would've killed to possess. And a really cool crew t-shirt which somehow managed to get signed. At first I didnt believe Mcgoo when he said I should come down to Sydney for my birthday - not that I didn't believe his invite (McGoo Fuckin Rocks!!!) - but because I didn't believe ACDC would be playing on Feb 20th - the 30th anniversary of Bon Scotts death (and my 31st B'day).

I will treasure that night for a long time to come - It almost out did my previous favorite birthdays, then the following night I got a text from someone I had been longing to hear from. I guess all in all it is definitely up there in the top 3 birthdays in my life.


(yes the txt was from the rockstar)

In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets here it for New York, New York, New York

"Take me out, Take me under, Lack of sleep, Lack of Slumber, Without Dreams, All sounds are Thunder, What is Peace, I'll always Wonder." Violet Goodwin

Pain andAgony, Wrath and Rapture. All are evident in the Lyrics of my god. Kurt Cobain.

I can barely begin to explain the way his words have always spoken to me.

I can Barely begin to explain how Hot Dave Grohl is to my eyes. I held onto a crush for over half my lifetime, because... amongst other things, this guy looked like Dave Grohl. I only wish I had a photo to show you the crush guy!!


Anyway, was looking for Mr hottness that is Dave, and came across a post comparing the two former Bandmates. I couldn't help myself but to comment -> see below, but doubt what I wrote makes much sense as I head into the final straights of 48 hours without sleep!

I honestly can't decide which is more frustrating, Silence or Insomnia!

Anyway the Article -> From the Blog Entitled Facing Abuse -> the Post - Cobain and Grohl: Mythic Heroes. They are both my heroes in one way or the other. Kurt of my soul, Dave of my eyes and teeny bopper fan hormones.

As for my comments.... very badly written and not even thought out.... here they are:

You make some good points. I don’t know either of them, as I doubt many people who write about NIRVANA, Kurt, Dave etc do. But… there's always a but! I was there to witness it all, albeit at a distance.
We are formed by both nature and nurture. Our Genes and our lives experiences are what create our individual selves. They shared part of each others journey through life. I guess all I’m saying is that I agree, yet still feel an innate desire to defend Kurt.
Possibly even more so his lyrics. The man was a lyrical genius. Dave Grohl can out drum him, and I admit plays guitar ‘better’ than kurt. But when you are analysing Lyrics, especially those of Kurts, there is so much more written in between the lines. Often the empty spaces are packed full of meaning, where as at other times Lyrics that stand out as genius are merely words.
Kurt smells like teen spirit – a piece of insulting humor that was graffiti, but brought Generation X to our feet. A line such as “Who will be the King and Queen of all of the outcasted teens” speaks absolute volumes, yet was left in a notebook, not even getting the chance to fall victim to the cutting room floor. (it is a lyric from the originally penned smells like teen spirit – possibly the most hated piece of his brilliance)
Rape Me – I paid $3k to get a radio station to play it whilst fundraising for tsunami relief. Yes its Angry, Yes it’s in your Face, And YES its far too often misinterpreted, It actually speaks out against Rape and gives courage to its victims. It may well be the most brilliant of all his songs.
I love Dave Grohl, I absolutely do. And I understand the points you are making regarding his lyrics being much more upbeat and up tempo etc. But a Fairer comparison may have been between Heart Shaped Box by cobain and Marigold by Grohl, two different songs on the same single.
Not sure If I have a point as such….. But really hate the way that Rape me gets misinterpreted.!

And that's about that.

I am the ultimate Kurt Cobain Fan. I tattooed a K upon my chest, after many years of carving one there. I am lucky and honored (& crazy enough to love the fact) that I share his Birthday. I always knew Feb 20th was special. . . If I drew comparisons between our lives, I should've died at 27!!

I want to live like we did that summer.

This song is constantly playing on one of the lifestle chanels at the moment. Every single time I hear it I remember my amazing Summer Romance. He was the best boyfriend I ever had. Which is pretty sad. . . as it was the summer of 92-93!

He was (& still is) the most amazing guy. He treated me like a queen. Boosted my self-esteem no end - something he still does!  All the other girls wanted to be with him - he was soooooo hot! He was almost my ticket to cool lol.

I could write a million things about him, but never really get to the core of why he is such a special person, but I think the reason he was the best boyfriend I ever had is because he never hurt me. We never broke up, he never cheated on me or anything like that. He was a total flirt (& will always be) yet not in a way that ever made me jealous. It was just one of those perfect, innocent summer romances - one that lasted until the leaves started to loose their color and simply fell from the trees.

Actually he did hurt me once. He stabbed me in the back! He was playing with a fork and bent the tines to odd angles, once he grew bored of it he just left it outside lying on the ground near where we were sitting having a smoke.

I got a letter from my mum and went back outside to have a smoke whilst I read it. I sat on the ground, then laid down. Right on the upward facing tines of the fork!! I cried, he held me close to his chest and kissed my face, wiping away my tears. He really did treat me like absolute royalty.

Even now - 17years later I still love him. I love him dearly. But in the 17 years the love has evolved, I love him like a brother - yeah it seems incestuous, but I can't  explain it any better than that. He is now a good mate, one that I know I could call on day or night if ever I needed him, I hope he knows the same goes for him.

He's getting married next year, and I'm going to definitely buy him and his wife a set of fancy cutlery, all in the hopes that she'll leave one with bent tines in the bed - & pay the cheeky bastard back. I just hope that un-like other male friends, that marriage won't mean an end to our friendship.

One day I will write our story - properly. I've written it before, It's a beautiful story despite some of the events being filled with extreme tragedy. Perhaps its the tradgedy that makes it so beautiful. two kids whose lives look so bad that there appears to be nowhere to go - but in each other they find the answers. It was all very romantic, No wonder no one has ever been able to measure up. Not even the one where  I had a crush on someone for a million years and finally got to taste the honey!


Josh Pyke
Summer
If I could bottle up the sea breeze I would take it over to your house
And pour it loose through your garden
So the hinges on your windows would rust and colour
Like the boats pulled up on the sand for the summer
And your sweet clean clothes would go stiff on the line
And there’d be sand in your pockets and nothing on your mind

But every year it gets a little bit harder
To get back to the feeling of when we were fifteen
And we could jump in the river upstream
And let the current carry us to the beginning where
The river met the sea again
And all our days were a sun-drenched haze
While the salt spray crusted on the window panes

We should be living like we lived that summer
I wanna live like we live in the summer

And I’ll remember that summer as the right one
The storms made the pavement steamlike a kettle
And our first goodbye always seemed like hours
In the car park in between my house and yours
And if the summer holds a song we might sing forever
Then the winter holds a bite we’d never felt before

But time is like the ocean
You can only hold a little in your hands
So swim before we’re broken
Before our bones become
Black coral on the sand

A while ago I posted some photos of my leg covered in graffiti - Gosh I LOVE <3 <3 <3 my sharpie lol

I'd written what I was sure were lyrics to a Green Day song - "I declare that my love is true"

I was so definate about it as everytime I read the words in my head I could hear the tune. I also knew it was the last line of the song, and I was pretty sure it was off of Dookie.

Well I was Right - but I was Wrong. . .

It goes ""Just keep saying my LOVE is TRUE""

Well @ least I know I'm not totally psycho - ad the title is ironic, but in a 'you had to be there' kind of way.

And I was SOOoooooo wrong when I thought the 69 looking symbol was 4 Pisces, and the two arcs were Cancer. hmmm been so wrong, have had them mixed up since I last dated a cancer lol. Theres an awful lot more behind the symbols - but oly I know what it all means

**I also ALWAYS 4get how to spell Pisces


Ad despite drinking alcohol, not drinking coke, taking a valium and other things to help me sleep - Ive got the worst type of insomnia - the one where I fall asleep @ 9 or 10 only to wake up an hour later unable to sleep - I'm seriously close to some kind of homicidal suicidal like outbursts - jk, but seriously!

I've been blessed @ certain times in my life.

For a few years I got to tour with some of the coolest bands in the country, and some of the biggest bands in the world.  Jet = relatively small but really cool, Rolling Stones = big, & VERY fuckin' pretentious, and although it was cool to see them and eat with their gold cutlery, they were not cool!

I have a collection of "Acess All Areas" passes - aka laminates, that is so big I can't wear them all @ once. I have tour books that are signed, probably worth a bit on eBay. But the cool factor of these tour schedules is limited by time - for they include the bands itineraries whilst they are in the country. Not just when & where the concerts are, but which hotel they are staying at, when they will be here or there and all the flights they will be catching. I probably couldv'e made a mint selling the info - but to be honest that would be completely against my morals.

I wasn't just lucky to get backstage. I didn't win a lottery, nor did I have any professional reason for me to be backstage. I'm not a photographer, journalist, security guard or even a dishwasher @ venues.

So How did I get such access to such great bands?????  Why Is this Post called Backstage Whore??????

Because I swapped Sex for laminates. . .  

I'm neither a groupie, nor am I really a whore (but I guess that depends on your opinion) but I've had sex backstage @many shows.

I didn't have sex at every show (but I did @ most lol), I didn't screw a bunch of strangers, weirdo's creeps or ugly fat dudes. I simply had sex with my husband - a man I loved with every fibre of my being @ the time. See It's not about what you know - but who you know lol!

AND . .    whilst I'm on the subject, if you mix sex  with something else that you are passionate about, or that turns you on - which for me is loud live music - the sex is simply exhilarating. Especially if doing it in public floats your boat. Backstage sex, where the bass is so loud the hairs on your arms stand up and move in time with the beat, In my opinion, Just can't be beat.

But despite how amazing all those experiences were, they also kind of ruined concerts for me. I no longer feel the excitement or enjoyment of watching bands live. Never again could I sit in a seat to watch the show . . . Now I no longer feel satisfied unless I'm @ least on the fence. It's like having sex without the orgasm.

I'm filled with turmoil, with you all tangled up in my headwires. I can't quite think straight

I remembered you for all those years,
It's going to take a while to release the tears
all memories should fade in time
I hope to foget when u were mine.

Was it something you did deliberately? or just a cruel twist caused by fate?



Heartbreak is pathetic. Unrequited love even more so.
Only one way to heal - & that is to walk through it.
These posts aren't here to make sense to all - just a way for me to release what I need to let go of.
A guy that I always thought looked like Dave Grohl, a guy that kissed me when this song played - a guy I couldve continued to love had I not fucked it all up.

I now realise why i stayed stuck in my liquid handcuffs without fighting to free myself for so very long - because reality hurts too much to cope with.

BUT - @ the end of the day, despite the pain. I learned a lot - mostly positive, but one definate negative - I'm stuck here - no longer hand cuffed, but still imprisoned by misery.

Yet again I simply cannot sleep. I know I'm not very good when it comes to writing, but I am pretty good at finding a song to express the way I'm feeling.

I feel lost and locked out. I knock on the door and know they are there, yet they refuse to answer - they refuse to fight.
I stand alone and wonder why, consider how, and in self confide what I did that meant we could not survive.

In the end, you can't lose what you never had.

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there

Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don?t deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not care
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?

I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my hope was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself

And I won?t listen to your shame
You ran away, you?re all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don?t ever let me know

you will never care enough to ever let me know.......

Lyrics to 'Snuff' by Slipknot - written by Crahan, Michael Shawn; Fehn, Chris; Gray, Paul D; Jones, Craig A; Jordison, Nathan J; Root, James Donald; Taylor, Corey; Thomson, Mickael
Source:http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/slipknot/snuff.html