Showing posts with label muse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label muse. Show all posts

That Summer


I want to live like we did that summer.

This song is constantly playing on one of the lifestle chanels at the moment. Every single time I hear it I remember my amazing Summer Romance. He was the best boyfriend I ever had. Which is pretty sad. . . as it was the summer of 92-93!

He was (& still is) the most amazing guy. He treated me like a queen. Boosted my self-esteem no end - something he still does!  All the other girls wanted to be with him - he was soooooo hot! He was almost my ticket to cool lol.

I could write a million things about him, but never really get to the core of why he is such a special person, but I think the reason he was the best boyfriend I ever had is because he never hurt me. We never broke up, he never cheated on me or anything like that. He was a total flirt (& will always be) yet not in a way that ever made me jealous. It was just one of those perfect, innocent summer romances - one that lasted until the leaves started to loose their color and simply fell from the trees.

Actually he did hurt me once. He stabbed me in the back! He was playing with a fork and bent the tines to odd angles, once he grew bored of it he just left it outside lying on the ground near where we were sitting having a smoke.

I got a letter from my mum and went back outside to have a smoke whilst I read it. I sat on the ground, then laid down. Right on the upward facing tines of the fork!! I cried, he held me close to his chest and kissed my face, wiping away my tears. He really did treat me like absolute royalty.

Even now - 17years later I still love him. I love him dearly. But in the 17 years the love has evolved, I love him like a brother - yeah it seems incestuous, but I can't  explain it any better than that. He is now a good mate, one that I know I could call on day or night if ever I needed him, I hope he knows the same goes for him.

He's getting married next year, and I'm going to definitely buy him and his wife a set of fancy cutlery, all in the hopes that she'll leave one with bent tines in the bed - & pay the cheeky bastard back. I just hope that un-like other male friends, that marriage won't mean an end to our friendship.

One day I will write our story - properly. I've written it before, It's a beautiful story despite some of the events being filled with extreme tragedy. Perhaps its the tradgedy that makes it so beautiful. two kids whose lives look so bad that there appears to be nowhere to go - but in each other they find the answers. It was all very romantic, No wonder no one has ever been able to measure up. Not even the one where  I had a crush on someone for a million years and finally got to taste the honey!


Josh Pyke
Summer
If I could bottle up the sea breeze I would take it over to your house
And pour it loose through your garden
So the hinges on your windows would rust and colour
Like the boats pulled up on the sand for the summer
And your sweet clean clothes would go stiff on the line
And there’d be sand in your pockets and nothing on your mind

But every year it gets a little bit harder
To get back to the feeling of when we were fifteen
And we could jump in the river upstream
And let the current carry us to the beginning where
The river met the sea again
And all our days were a sun-drenched haze
While the salt spray crusted on the window panes

We should be living like we lived that summer
I wanna live like we live in the summer

And I’ll remember that summer as the right one
The storms made the pavement steamlike a kettle
And our first goodbye always seemed like hours
In the car park in between my house and yours
And if the summer holds a song we might sing forever
Then the winter holds a bite we’d never felt before

But time is like the ocean
You can only hold a little in your hands
So swim before we’re broken
Before our bones become
Black coral on the sand

Muse


My muse

Most artists and creative types have a muse, one who inspires them to create their art, no matter what form their art is.

Edie Sedgwick is almost the Ultimate muse - Along with Campbell's Tomatoe soup She inspired Andy WarholI - I believe she also inspired Bob Dylan


I guess Frances Farmer was Kurt Cobain's muse to some extent - as I guess he is mine. Most people I know would think he would be my ultimate muse, he is my lyrical muse, a fellow tortured soul, & just someone I relate to in many weird and completely insane ways . . . I'm now officially seperated from Kurt Cobain by 2 degrees of seperation - more on that some other time.

Normally my art is inspired by events in my life, my emotions, and most often by music, lyrics and poetry. I was once told I had a Lyrical Soul, I truly believe this is true. But in all of my life I have never had one true muse.


I think I have found my own visual muse. She is beautiful, both outside and within. She is funny, caring, light hearted and deep @ the same time & is yet to take a bad photo. I see her day to day snapshots and envision works of art. I could write pages about her. She inspires me to the nth degree.

It has taken me a few months to digest that this person is my muse. At first it was an instant friendship, One that felt like your favourite comfy pyjama's. It felt like I had known her before, in a past life perhaps. At first I didn't quite realise why I felt such a strong magnetic like pull towards her. I even thought I had a crush on her (I'm 100% hetro, BUT I do strongly believe that when it comes to love gender doesn't necisarily blind our hearts), something I wasn't comfortable with - not because i'm homophobic - completely the opposite, but because she is so much younger than I am. She is a mere teenager. However over time I have gradually realised this feeling of love, appreciation & inspiration I'm feeling is because she is my muse.

I just don't have the courage to tell her yet.

P.S - this, like most of my posts, is un edited and raw. One day I will come back and give it some polish and finesse, but for now I just wanted to get it out, write it down.

-> what is a muse? Not even sure I can explain it - so check out muse @ wikipedia